Love

Well here I am, 21 now. I almost started crying the other day thinking about how I feel so old now and yet I have so much more to accomplish. Granted 21 is not that old, it feels like time is just going by so fast and I haven't really started catching up yet. I guess the what really has gotten me to thinking is just the concept of love. You hear all these love songs, see all these movies, and even see real life couples and everyone wants that.  We can go on and pretend like we don't, but that's a lie.  I have grown up surrounded by two extremely loving parents, who have had some bad days/times but have always managed to get through it. And they found love at a super young age.  For most of high school and even early college I wasn't sure I even believed in love.  I thought it was some made up fantasy story. I made up all these lies because it was something I wanted to experience so badly that if I couldn't or hadn't experienced it it must not be real. I only started believing it out loud because of the verse in the bible that says very simply he who does not know love does not know God, because God is Love (1 John 4:8) Love is the most powerful, unexplainable, wonderful, yet terrifying force in the world.  So why would anyone not want to experience that?  A good definition I like to use for love is carrying more about the other person than yourself.  And I used to think that I wasn't capable of such feelings.  But then I found someone who made me realize that no matter the outcome of the situation I AM capable of that.  When you care more about someone else being happy than yourself, I think that is such an unselfish form of love. My hope and prayer is that one day he (and myself) will find someone who feels the same way. And the good thing is, is that I know there is someone out there who will feel the same way.  Although I get to the point where I always think "What is wrong with me?" "What am I doing wrong?
and all these negative things that isn't that case.  God knows that right now is not the time for me, and I even know that! But it still doesn't take away from the hurt of seeing all these couples and just wanting for one second to know what that is truly like. It is hard. But it will make all those times worth the while.  Love is extraordinary; if it weren't we wouldn't search after it for so long.  But when you stop trying to find the right man, and start trying to be the right woman, the right man will come along.  (I read that on twitter, i really do love all the positive thoughts on my feed!) Love comes in so many more forms than just the romantic love that we are often searching for! Love can be so simple yet so powerful. and THAT is something that I love :)

Jenni