What To Say

Well, I should go and ahead and start out by saying that I really should be sleeping right now but I just don't think I can. I really didn't even want to write anything tonight but I guess I have a big heavy heart to just talk about blessed I am to have some amazing people in my life.  God has really been showing me here lately that you don't have to spend every moment with a person, or even see them every day to grow so close to them. I think as young women, we often spend so much time searching for "the one".. our future husband; when really God wants to show us friendships and how valuable they are. (I could, and probably will, write a LOT more about that topic ) I am so lucky to have some amazing people in my life who love me (even when I maybe don't deserve it), challenge me, keep me on my toes, and are basically just there for me when all I need is someone to listen. Being an only child, and somewhat introverted (if you know me any at all you would never expect for me to call myself an introvert, but i am in some ways) I have always felt somewhat alone. This past year I moved into an apartment out of my parents house and can honestly say I never felt more alone in my life.  I would sit at home sometimes and just cry because everyone else was out doing things I didn't want to be doing and I felt like I had no one. Or the only person I did have sometimes annoyed me (Ha. ) Even though it was a hard time in my life, and noone really knew about it, it really drew me closer to God and made me realize that I'm never alone. I would constantly be in the midst of tears of sadness and out of nowhere would start flowing tears of joy. I'm not alone. I'm never alone.  Having only been in school a week, and around my team even less time than that, I can already tell that this is going to be a tough semester. Even though I am basically the "black sheep" of the team (I guess I should say white sheep... trying to be pure in thoughts and actions anyways ) I have never felt like I will have so many opportunities to be bold.  Just knowing that there are so many people who don't understand why I am the way I am, and that I live for my one true King is so inspiring because I know He has put me in a position to do great things for Him. I'm not really the evangelist, thump you in the head with a Bible type, but from what He has shown me this far it is a lot more than that.   I do my best to spend every day with a smile on my face, being positive and still stand  up for what I believe in.  I know this is going to be probably one of the toughest times I've encountered, but God has sent some angels in my life that I have as an outlet to get through these times.  And even if they live what seems like a billion hours away, I know they are always in my heart and mind... and are only a phone call or skype message away. I'm so thankful for this awful beautiful life I'm living and I know it can only get better

Love always,
Jen

p.s. Only in the South can you use the word "awful" as a positive word =))